It's all a test isn't it?
I remember when I was a boy, in the 1980's and those Emergency Broadcast Network alarm tests would go on tv... There was always a slight fear that it might be real, and that "The Soviet's" were launching missiles at us. Alaska was very close to The USSR. So there was extra fear. For my money... WWIII was talked about so much that I thought it had already happened. ( I watched a lot of documentary TV as well as Red Dawn!) in pop culture it was an inevitable conclusion for the the US and the Commies to duke it out to prove who is the biggest bully on the block. "This is a Test of the Emergency Broadcast Network..."
This is a test...
It's not the same now...
Well living in NYC... Loud and deep explosive sounds have the same quality... but still different.
Doesn't quite have the Fire and Brimstone fear spike that Mutual Assured Destruction has.
This is a Test...
Life is funny, in that the events of crisis always amount to a Test...
and how we process the testing amounts to the grade we get...
It's all a Test.
I have this Anti Hero streak in me that makes me say "Fuck it!" I have been tested so many times that I could care less about who is giving the grades... all that matters to me is that I can look myself in the mirror and know that I did it for my own reasons... most of my reasons are to honor the dead...
I believe that the creation of something demands a spiritual libation, or tribute of sorts. The energy of creation must be received from somewhere, and given somewhere in return. The energy of creation was not meant to be kept in a cave. light if for the illumination of others. A Fire might destroy a forest, but in its wake, life will be more abundant. The Ebb and Flow of Energy.
Cause and Effect.
A test is meant to make one stronger, or wiser.
A test is not for inducing fear.
In Contemplative religions, the seeker of wisdom would retreat to solitude to receive the vision he/she seeks. Yet the gift of the vision is worthless if the receiver doesn't share it with others to facilitate their liberation.
Where would we be without tests?
Right now... Conan the Barbarian (1982) is on... I Love this Movie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVXBNWlCUB4&feature=related
In this film Conan's life amounts to a series of tests.
His parents were killed
He is sold into slavery
He has to fight is way out of slavery as a Pitfighter
He fights his way out of Pitfighting by becoming the best at it
He gets so good that He is taken to the east and given a classical education in Swordsmanship
Because of his prowess, his slave master frees him
He then embarks on his adventure to avenge his parents death!
More tests ensue... He is even Crucified!
He has great successes and failures
Through all of this you witness the forging of the steel of his character.
Just like the Samurai sword smiths would pound and fold the steel in order to extract all Impurities and weakness'
Conan is pounded and forged by the brutal tests of his life.
He is not Conan the Victim! ...
My Brother and I ask each other sometimes..."So, what part of Conan are you?"
Meaning... what part of the Conan The Barbarian movie best describes your life right now...
Some days you feel like Pit fighter Conan, Beset on all sides by endless oppositions and Kicking Ass!
Somedays you feel like Running free Conan. Wandering the World with Subotai looking for Adventure!
Somedays you Feel like Tree of Woe Conan, contemplating on the Tree of Woe...
Sometimes you are in Chains
Sometimes you are Crushing the Snakes of the Earth!!!
And Sometimes you are drowning in the hubris of victory!
I feel that right now... Sept 2010 I am resurrected from the dead Conan, returning to the discipline of his classical samurai sword training, while brooding about his revenge...
To give you a little historical back ground into my philosophy of Conan I will share with you this deleted scene from my life in 1986
My Mother was in the hospice... in the terminal stage of her battle with brain cancer. She only had a few days left at most. I was 8 years old. I can not tell you how hard it was for me as a little boy to witness the slow and humiliating death that my mother had to endure... excruciating. Day after day watching her slowly lose control of her body as her brain was shutting down. I longed for the days of innocence and the dreams of childhood, full of heros, swords, space ships, and damsels in distress.
I was in the habit of staying up real late and watching my favorite moves. I longed for escapism. Conan the Barbarian was on at midnight... and my dad and uncle were out doing adult stuff pertaining to the coming passage of my mother. I remember watching this film and Conan's story resonating with me very deeply. His parents died... He was cast into a life without a home... hunted... outcast... forsaken... with only his will to forge him into something other than a victim. In the end of the film, it's just 2 men fighting against many... for me... that was me and my Brother. Two boys fighting against an uncertain future and the impending death of both parents (Dad was slowly killing himself with Alcohol).
For us, our Hero's showed us the way out of the endless spiral of despair. The Conan's and Rambo's showed us the keys to survival. Discipline, and dedication to something greater. Sacrifice. The riddle of Steel. Honor. and being true to ones self. Great Anti Heros... outcast and forsaken, yet called to achieve their own greatness, and slay their own demons.
My brother and I have known this life.
At the end of Conan... Conan and his friend Subotai are about to battle the marauding hoards of Thusa Doom's snake cult. They are hopelessly out numbered.
Conan then prays to his god Crom...
This is his prayer;
"Crom, I have never prayed to you before...
I have no tongue for it...
No one
not even you will remember
If we were good men or bad,
why we fought, why we died,
all that matters is that two stood against many
Thats what's important.
Battle pleases you Crom
So grant me one request...
Grant me revenge!...
and if you do not listen...
Then to Hell with you!"
hahahahah!!!!! I love this!
It's all a test. This is a Test.
For me the test right now is to stay positive in the face of insurmountable odds. It's what it always was. I was born into this.
It's how you live thats important, not wether you win or lose. Its the Journey.
Odysseus is still out there... lost... and that's ok.
The Muse Bytes
my cousin just wrote me this...
ReplyDelete"Right now I am sharpening my sword. Subotai is asking me questions, but all I want to do is kick some ass. Smeared some black and white paint on me. Gonna raid an orgy."
This is also great! :)
ReplyDelete